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Fanfic: Never Take Gifts from Elves

Title: Never Take Gifts from Elves
Wordcount: 499
Pairing: Suzie/John. A tiny bit of Puck/John.
Summary: In which, elves see things differently than humans, and now John is pregnant. ...Wait, what?

Chapter 1: I really should’ve known better.

"That's it Puck. The next time you call me on a job, I'm going to shove you off into the road while whistling on the sidewalk. With a camera ready." There was another ‘PLOP!’ sound as the...goop (and I'm only kindly calling it that) slid down from my shoulder and onto the floor. I would've tried calming myself by breathing deeply, but that would involve actually smelling the goop that was on me. Puck, the imperfect elf, was openly grinning because he knew it would agitate me even further.

Like me, he was partially covered in the goop that was staining our clothes. However, unlike me, he still look graceful, elegant, and projected an aura that even covered with goop, he was more than just well dressed than the people around him. Typical elf.

"Now that I'm done giving my message, I suppose you want your award now. Humans are so impatient." He made a ‘Tsk’ sound as he strolled over to me. My mind darkens with violent and extremely bloody thoughts for a moment but I ignored them.

He had previously requested my help during one of my random evening strolls and I was too bored to walk away. Apparently, he needed help to track down someone to relay a message, but there had been some complications (as usual) and things got messy. Literally. The demon was gigantic, had a nasty sense of humor, but was ultimately no match for an elf. However, I guess as payback, it exploded and this goop went everywhere. Yuck. I better get paid for this, laundry services are starting to get twitchy every time I come over.

I stared back at him impassively, waiting for whatever he wanted to bestow upon me. He gave me a shit-eating grin before swooping down to my face before I could react.

I felt a brief press of soft lips on my own and tingle of... something.

What the fuck?

He jumped back quickly before I could give him a good slap so I settled for glaring at him with righteous anger and wiping my mouth furiously with a napkin. "Okay, what the fuck was that about, Puck? And if you don't give me an answer that's at least vaguely comprehensible, I'm going to do something nasty involving your intestines and a kickboxing kangaroo."

With an amused smirk, he gestured his arms grandly, as if presenting before a crowd. "I just wish to exchange a gift of blessings for your relationship with the infamous Suzie Shooter. Everybody's quite curious for the result of what's to come so... I speeded it up a little. Also, it's fun screwing around with humans."

My face went blank and I blinked. "What?” That did not make any sense what so ever.

However, before I could make good on my threat (and believe me, I can), he gave me a cheeky grin and disappeared on a twirl. And now I'm all alone.

Damn Elves.

A/N: These chapters are un-betaed so I might correct them ever so often. Also, this is more of an experiment so it may or may not be completed. I have written an outline for it though so I'll do my best.


( 5 complaints — Make a complaint )
Apr. 21st, 2011 10:59 am (UTC)
Well I like it so far. :D
I can't wait to see what happens next.
And I think you described Puck perfectly.
Like me, he was partially covered in the goop that was staining our clothes. However, unlike me, he still look graceful, elegant, and projected an aura that even covered with goop, he was more than just well dressed than the people around him. Typical elf.
Apr. 22nd, 2011 01:46 am (UTC)
Thanks for reviewing!

I wonder if there's going to be more of Puck rather than just in the last two books out. He was very entertaining to read in "The Good, the bad, and the Uncanny".

I'll see if I could get the next chapter somewhere next week or so. There hasn't been a lot to inspire me in the Nightside Fandom lately. Maybe I should try to read the books again?
Apr. 22nd, 2011 01:49 am (UTC)
Puck is in Shadows Fall. So when I read that book I was like "OMG. YES. YAY. PUCK. I LOVE YOU PUCK. YAY."

I'm rereading Drinking Midnight Wine. :D
I always suggest rereading SRG.
Jul. 15th, 2011 12:54 pm (UTC)
Your threats are very John-ish XD No need to say WHAT the threat is, just tell the person what part of them is gonna be involved in the harming of their person LOL

... John's pregnant. OMG. *hysterical laughter* *chokes* John. With hormones. Oh jeeze~! *chokes again* Suzie is NOT inpressed LOLOLOL

(or, maybe she is. she doesn't wanna have to do all the work herself XD)
Jul. 15th, 2011 03:25 pm (UTC)
Personally, I don't think they're extreme enough but I'll take that compliment. :)

Come on. With all the shit the Nightside throws at you and all the Gods and beings cursing people for their own amusement, I'm surprised this wasn't canon. :>

Suzie is definitely not going to be impressed. She still has quite a bit of serious issues with babies, but hopefully, I can eventully get her to that point where she's glad she doesn't have to do the work. (And be able to joke about this but shoot others when they try to make fun of John. Cause she's the only one allowed to.)

I kinda hope I can finish up this fic one day. I'm starting to get swamped with the knowledge that I'm going really far away to go to college and I kinda verred off the Nightside stuff a little since no one else is writing anything I like. Or anything. ): I hope this fandom picks up soon...

Anyway, thanks for reading this!
( 5 complaints — Make a complaint )